We've all seen it. Those terrible excuses for movies based off of video games that suffer from either:

1. The fact that the games aren't movie worthy

2. So far off the game's story and theme that it makes you want to headbutt a brick wall. (thanks Uwe Boll.)

What is it with directors that gives them the need to pick the game that would be the most horrible movie. If you're going to make a movie out of a game at least pick one that would make sense, unlike this gleaming in-production crap sandwich.


WTF!!!!!!!!!

For those who don't know, Dead or Alive is a fighting game with lots of scantily clad women. This is such an obvious choice to make a movie out of. I mean seriously, chicks, weapons, fighting? Except it sounds a lot more like my birthday parties than a movie. I go to the movies to escape reality for a few hours, not to relive parts of it.

It's like making a movie out of Ridge Racer. The only way you could possibly make a movie of any substance out of it, is if you made an army of super fast sports cars that talk, and had them fight a giant enemy crab. But only one man and his abnormally small black friend can tame the leader of all cars to make the revolution begin. It would be a touching love story that might look a little something like this:



...bone chilling.

Seriously though, how come no one picks the obvious choices to make a movie out of, like Bioshock, or The Darkness? You know, games that actually put the focus on making a thought-provoking storyline? Instead, they go for non-nonsensical bullcrap that couldn't possibly make a good movie. These monstrosities have to stop, before some money grubbing twit gets the idea for 'Tetris: The Movie'.

(Note: Hitman the movie was released recently. What a disgrace. They portray him as some kind of gruff ninja hero, when he's supposed to be a ruthless killer. He's an antihero, the bad guy, he's supposed to be stopped, not encouraged.)

(Note: Now they're on to a new fad, bastardizing old cartoon shows. A live action film based on Speed Racer? Are you serious? Even Thundercats? Dragonball Z!? Why don't they just cut to the chase, put my childhood on a pike, and beat the money out of it?)