I just don't know what to do. I have wasted an entire semester in college just to learn that maybe this is what I want to do. And now I really want to switch to an English Major with a specialization in Writing and Literature, the only problem? I can't afford the colleges that provide what I want!

 I don't get scholarships for various reasons, and I'm also never approved for that much money when it comes to loans for school. I'm in a pickle and it's not fair! My family is so "rich" that the government won't help me, but yet they're really so "poor" that they can't help me pay for college! And I'm only 19! How much money do they expect a 19 year old to have!? I just honestly don't know what to do anymore.

 I know what I want in my heart...but am I able to take that kind of risk? Am I brave enough to say hey! This is what I want, and I don't care how much money I have to pay back to get there! Or do I take the sensible route because that's the kind of person I am? Do I look at my surroundings and just accept them for what they are and stop dreaming foolishly?

To dream or not to dream, I guess that's the question I'm asking?

I wish there was a clear cut sign that said, "Go here, you moron!" That would be enough for me! But by saying I need a clear cut sign, am I really saying I need too much before I do anything!

Hmmm, maybe I should try to major in philosophy!

All I want is to get a good education so that I can get a good enough job that I don't hate for the rest of my life. I've seen what it's like firsthand from my parents what it's like to have a job that is decent but makes it hard to pay the bills. I don't want that. I want to atleast try to make something of my life. I just wish it wasn't so dang expensive to do so!