Yes, that's right, yours truly is not only back in the blogosphere but also forcibly so, because I got tagged. And I know some might say "Hey, but I tagged that dude a year ago", at least you might be saying that if you're hazelnutman, but thanks to GameSpot's RSS feed only updating my tracked blogs whenever it feels like it, I discovered your blog months after the fact and decided that the ship had sailed.
So, in the spirit of the day (mind the timezone, America), let me tell you 10 (yes, for some reason it's not 5 anymore) amazing, hard-hitting facts not even I knew about myself that will surely make it easy for all the hackers who do it for the lolz to track me down. Nope, sorry, instead I will talk about video games and other dumb stuff that isn't interesting or even better, a complete lie. You brought this upon yourself, fools!
1. I once played through Super Mario Bros. 7 times in a row because some jerk friend told me you get the "real" ending this way. I also read the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy three times, albeit not for the same reason.
2. My French was pretty decent at one point but most of that knowledge was lost in time.
3. While I own 52 PS3 retail games, I bought exactly 4 of them: Guitar Hero 3, Burnout Paradise, Uncharted (ebay) and Killzone 2
4. I own a sizable collection of Magic: The Gathering cards. The most expensive single card I own is a Mox Pearl.
5. This one isn't a fact about myself, it's a simple fact: The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya is the best series ever. Period.
6. At night, I like to dress up in a school girl outfit and rid the streets of its criminal elements.
7. I listened to every episode of GameSpot presents the HotSpot at least once.
8. My favourite video game journalist is Greg Kasavin.
9. I can't dance, I can't talk. Only thing about me is the way I walk. I'm also confident that I'm the only person on the planet who can walk and chew gum at the same time. It's an amazing gift.
10. I can't think of 10 facts about myself.
That's it, I know, you're all in disbelieve about the incredible things you learned, but here's the 5 people I tag:
To not let this perfectly good blog go to waste, here's a few funny quotes from Disgaea 3:
"Always be on time, if not early. But don't you dare run in the hallways"
"Oh no! Breaking our curfew will make our parents very happy!" - "Yes, it's our self-imposed curfew that our parents strongly objected to."
"Fool! I don't even know the meaning of the word "level grinding"!"
"One of my goals is to make hot sauce the official condiment for eggs."
"Without a rival, won't you be disqualified from being the main character!?"
"I shall teach you all something that you'll always find useful! 8 is still 8 when flipped upside down! However, when pushed on its side, it can hide an infinite number of possibilities!"
"A good and evil heart is a complicated yet exquisite meal, much like pasta with rosa sauce! Boom!"
"If you're gonna be the villain, you should at least get better lines. You need to review the basics of evil."
"What did you say!? I can't allow you to leave without health insurance! I don't care whether you have a proper license!"
"Hold up. When you make an assumption, you make an ass out of u and mption, weddo."
"I'm Ms. Scarlet. I've come from a different game beyond time and space."
"You see, we teachers are too tired and lazy to be holding ****s!"
"Main character, fine, but if a no-namer defeats the Overlord, it's just a disgrace!"
"Overlord's son, you will jump 10000 feet into the air, wait a turn, and do a dive attack! I'll take a critical hit!"
"Why are you always cheating? Every game requires a diligent and gradual level up process." - "But they also have cheat codes. Like max out our levels instantly... What was it? Up, up, down, down..."
"Oh? Your subconscious seems to have dropped something."
"...Um, not that I care, but you're a little on fire."
"Damn these people just popping out of nowhere! When will we get to fight?" - "Don't you wanna see the introductions first?" - "Do you want to be fixed up? I'll make you fire missiles from your boobs!"
"You know... even though it's the last episode and all, it's not like you can just come out whenever you feel like it."
"Isn't it standard for the last boss in a game like this to transform into his final form?" - "Tsk! Damn you for using such a convenient game mechanic! Can't you fight fair!?"
"... But before that, I'll let you Save. We will settle this in the next area."
Comments
2. I also have a PhD in lolspeech
3. That has nothing to do with journalism, I just shoplift all the time
6. I won't kick as hard next time we meet then
9. No, it's just non-sensical, really. The first part are the lyrics to the Genesis song "I can't dance"
10. Thinking is tough!
Yeah, you should get the first one if you can find it. It's so amazingly funny, Flonne is such a great character.
Mmmhhhhhh, lightning cubes... *drool*
@ramonl2
I smell fully justified sarcasm about the facts
@samuraiguns
Yeah, let's get that lazy bum!
that nuts 
Except for me it's only been a year.
Wow looking back I'm amazed I passed.
Hehe the quote involving fire rocks.
Nah, that's just moronic
@Vyse_Legends
It's sad when you think about how long it takes to learn a language though.
I also just noticed an amazing thing, GameSpots auto-censorship asterisked out the word "classes" but left "ass" untouched...
I played it chinese version, not understanding anything (just relying on my knowledge from pokemomn fire red) I had no luck. then I realised that what he told be was absolute bull crap! I t made me so ticked off, back when I was a kid... ha ha
hazelnutman
2. Hey, no one can blame you for forgetting a language. You're already at a professional level in (at least to my knowledge) two languages. Maybe more?
3. Oh you game journalists
4. Oh wow, I remember Magic: TG. I think I still have a few decks of cards somewhere in a memory box somewhere.
5. I concur wholeheartedly.
6. At night, I like to dress up like a criminal and get my ass kicked by guys dressed in school girl outfits.
7. The only GameSpot media feature I've watched/heard all of is Button Mashing. Good stuff.
8. Holy snap, mine too! Greg Kasavin not only reviewed some epic games, but he reviewed them really well. FFX, MGS3, etc.
9. I think this is a reference to something I don't get. I'll probably realize what it is on some random day. Don't spoil it for me though.
10. I can't think of 10 responses either.
That's it, I'm picking up the first Disgaea game as soon as I see it.
Your blogs are like whiskey mixed with sugar cubes and lightning from the heavens. I'll let you figure that simile out.