I don't get it. All the wrestling boards I go to, I see endless worship for this boring, annoying, ok-at-best star. I mean it, everything is bland about him: his theme song would be completely forgettable were it not for the overuse of "HEY!" as a...
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I don't get it. All the wrestling boards I go to, I see endless worship for this boring, annoying, ok-at-best star. I mean it, everything is bland about him: his theme song would be completely forgettable were it not for the overuse of "HEY!" as a fad; his workrate is basically a breathing museum of chinlocks; and he looks like the default model in Create-A-Wrestler mode-- no, I take that back.

That is an insult to default CAW models everywhere.

The sad part is that on the road to WrestleMania 22, everybody loves him while bashing Rey Mysterio. Never mind that Mysterio is infinitely more talented and exciting, and draws a far better reaction from the audience, or that he seems like a nice person while Orton is confirmed to be a jackass in real life. If Mysterio wins the title at WM22(And I hope he does), I'll most likely stop visiting these boards for a while. And if Orton AND Triple H walk out as champions--then I'll have no choice but to quit watching WWE until the next WrestleMania.

Before I begin, I'm a big Coldplay fan. They're not just any other favorite of mine--they actually got me into music last summer(When I heard "Speed of Sound" on the radio, which instantly swayed me to buy X&Y) after years of disdain towards a...
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Before I begin, I'm a big Coldplay fan. They're not just any other favorite of mine--they actually got me into music last summer(When I heard "Speed of Sound" on the radio, which instantly swayed me to buy X&Y) after years of disdain towards a MTV-monopolized mainstream musical scene. It's thanks to them that I'm now into other bands such as U2, Interpol, Franz Ferdinand, Travis, The White Stripes, The Verve and, of course, the almighty Radiohead.

And there's much good I can say about the band's frontman Chris Martin. He has a great voice. He's a great pianist. He is very clean-cut, and almost never does drugs or drinks alcohol. He is active in many causes to help make the world better. And if I were a girl, I wouldn't be writing this review but instead looking him up on Google Images because quite frankly, he's gorgeous to the point of being a living Gary Stu(I once visited a litmus test page to determine if your fictional character was a Mary Sue. It said that U2's Bono scored a 71--I'm pretty sure Mr. Martin would score in the 200+s).

The problem is that I think the fame's starting to get to his head. Or maybe he's starting to become annoying. Martin said in an interview that he wants Coldplay to become better than Mozart. Uhhh, ok. On another interview, he actually complained about the inevitable criticism they've received on the wake of X&Y's huge popularity... and yet that didn't stop him from recently remarking that their next album would be "the greatest piece of music ever written".

Huh?

I hate to say it, but if things continue that way, then there'll be a huge backlash that'll cause Coldplay's next album to sink their worldwide popularity just like Be Here Now did to Oasis. And then you'll have something real to be "pained" about.

Oh, how about that Gwyneth Paltrow? Now, this is nothing personal, I know she is most likely a good person and that Martin is very happy to be with her(I wish good things for their next child)... but yeesh, Mrs. Paltrow frankly needs to shut up a little too. If I hear one more horribly annoying/ignorant remark from her regarding politics, I'll rip my skin off.

I'm sorry Mr. Martin, I'm a fan of you and your band, but that type of attitude is why the criticism isn't entirely undeserved. Everytime he runs his mouth, I feel bad for lead guitarist Jon Buckland, bassist Guy Berryman and drummer Will Champion--all of them very talented--for being stigmatized alongside him.

(Note: The TV.com page is titled Mark Calaway, but to me--and all other real fans--he shall always be known as Undertaker. This is due to the fact that he hates being referred to by his real name. After all the entertainment and awe he's brought...
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(Note: The TV.com page is titled Mark Calaway, but to me--and all other real fans--he shall always be known as Undertaker. This is due to the fact that he hates being referred to by his real name. After all the entertainment and awe he's brought me, this is the least I can do in return)

As of this writing, No Way Out 2006--the last ppvs before the 22nd outing of a little thing called WrestleMania--took place last night. It will be noteworthy as one of the rare brand-exclusive ppvs in which most matches had the potential to be actually stellar. Not that such is always the case: Boogeyman vs. JBL was a bore. Benoit vs. Booker T 9730920932737, while solid, has gone on way too long. And the pivotal Orton vs. Mysterio match was cut short just as it started to pick up steam, and had an utterly infuriating ending.

However, there was one match that will definitely stick out when 2006 nears it's ends and the inevitable Best Of lists are compiled: Kurt Angle(c) vs. The Undertaker for the World Heavyweight Championship. It was literally started out-of-nowhere and the build-up was rushed, but considering Kurt Angle was fresh off a feud with none other than Mark Henry, this certainly was more preferable to even the most jaded internet fan... and if you, like me, knew about the past history of these two men together, you were greatly anticipating this match.

Expectations were high--and deliver it did. When the ref's hand hit the mat the third consecutive time, nearly everybody was left speechless. It was quite possibly one of the greatest main event bouts in years. After a rushed program with the ill-fated Mark Henry, Angle was now heading to WrestleMania with great momentum. But more importantly, it showed that the deadman can still go.

That's right, still go. To see that even after all that time, he can still participate in such a great match shows why he deserves his enduring popularity--even despite the many nadirs his career has taken, and even despite all the criticism launched at him.

No, Undertaker is not perfect. He is not a workrate wizard like Kurt Angle and Bret Hart. He lacks the speed of Rey Mysterio and AJ Styles, as well as the youth of John Cena and Randy Orton. Yes, he is way past his prime.

I also know that Taker is as hated by the Internet Wrestling Community as he is loved by normal wrestling fans. As an ex-avid reader of Mr. Tito and(shudder) Scott Keith, trust me, I've heard it all: an old fart, lame gimmick, can't sell, boring on the mic, performs like a slug, hasn't had a good match in years, refuses to lose cleanly and has destroyed many careers--in short, a washed up dinosaur.

And to be perfectly honest, those criticisms aren't completely undeserved. Undertaker has been through a lot of crap. Giant Gonzales? Fakertaker? The satanic streak in 1999? The Paul Bearer "Do The Right Thing" ordeal? The fact that he's "died" more times than Kenny from South Park, the most recent completely disrespecting the late Eddie Guerrero? All of them are major black holes in the history of professional wrestling, and Undertaker was at the core of them.

But you know what?

I don't care.

The Undertaker has been wrestling in World Wrestling Entertainment for fifteen years plus. He is the last of the Golden Era legends to still have a semi-active spot on the roster. That he's not 100% these days is understandable. What's amazing, however, is that he stills remains a important name, one of the most over wrestlers in the company, still has the entire crowd on his shoulders and, I repeat, still put on a classic with the right conditions. And by "right conditions", I don't mean him being carried by somebody else. That's bull****. The fact of the matter is, he can still go.

He may rarely job, but that doesn't mean the loser has to suffer--just ask John Cena and Randy Orton. Fan reports repeatedly indicate that, contrary to his grizzled onstage character, he's one of the kinder people to meet outside the area. And while he may not be the most cooperative person backstage at times, in the end, he does have a heart of gold.

You WILL respect the Undertaker.

Many wrestling fans turned their backs on Amy Dumas aka Lita(And his new boyfriend Adam Copeland aka Edge) when they learned the full details of a sordid triangle between these two and Matt Hardy... but frankly, I've never really liked Lita.
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Many wrestling fans turned their backs on Amy Dumas aka Lita(And his new boyfriend Adam Copeland aka Edge) when they learned the full details of a sordid triangle between these two and Matt Hardy... but frankly, I've never really liked Lita.

Well, she was fine enough as the tomboy valet of the Hardy Boyz(Whom I firmly supported over Edge/Christian and the Dudley Boyz during their heyday), but her solo career hasn't been very interesting. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for women being independent and self-sufficient! But Lita, Lita, Lita... she just wasn't very good.

Many will mention that she's a poor wrestler, an uber-botchess, looks that can be forgivingly described as an acquired taste(Anything worse is forbidden by TV.com standards) and a lousy girlfriend. However, few remember that for a brief time when she was out with that neck injury, she was a commentator for Sunday Night Heat. Put mercifully, she wasn't very good--and you're hearing this from somebody who actually likes Michael Cole.

Overall, Lita is pretty much "middle of the road" for me. She's way below Trish Stratus, Molly Holly, Victoria and even Gail Kim... but these days, fairly tolerable, at least in comparison to Whorrie--err, Torrie Wilson, Crap--err, Candice Michelle and the Diva Search bimbos.