Since nothing else is going on in my life and I don't wish to write about my party and my episode of Stargate Atlantis until after SparkleFarkle gets my letter about same, I thought I'd share a few insights I've garnered in my 44( 
) years.
Ten Things I've Learned from Television
1. All emergency room doctors are experts on everything from the common cold to rare African parasites but are completely incompetent when using birth control.
2. Every crime scene technician anywhere is the United States is an expert in fingerprinting, blood splatter analysis, electronics, microbiology, ballistics, and DNA sequencing and has all the necessary equipment for each in his lab.
3. Every small town is a Peyton Place of sex, lies, and secrets complete with domestic divas, nosy neighbors and aliens or vampires.
4. Every police officer in America has a sibling or parent who is or was a criminal.
5. Networks are run by brain-damaged alien monkeys on crack.
6. All police detectives drink bourbon and listen to jazz.
7. Whether you are a waitress in a greasy spoon, a factory worker, or an office-type, you need only tell your boss you're leaving early or need to take some personal time and then can do so with no repercussions.
8. Bad guys are really bad shots.
9. Anyone, despite his/her income levels, can afford vacations in exotic climes.
10. Under no circumstances should you stay at the same hotel with, travel in any kind of vehicle with, or visit a small town anywhere within 100 miles of Jessica Fletcher.
There they are: ten things I know are true because I've seen them on TV. Maybe someday I'll tell you what I've learned from soap operas. 
Take care.
Anne Teldy