Anyone agree?

Now how do I get my name up there (and get off Level 7, for that matter)?

The JER Song (to the tune of "Achy Breaky Heart")

(VERSE)

Well, you can watch your soaps on TV with some hope,

Of seeing all the actors chewing scenes.

Marlena wasn't hatin', she was just possessed by Satan.

And "Passions" always has folks turnin' green.

But let's thank the dude who wrote those shows we viewed,

Who went ahead and made soap operas fun.

Everything he writes just dazzles and excites.

As writers go, this guy is number one!

(REFRAIN)

Well that's JER, that crazy JER,

The best soap writer in the land.

His dialogue is keen, like a well-oiled machine,

But I don't know why he keeps getting panned!

That's JER, that crazy JER,

Outrageous is just normal with this guy.

Nothing is taboo, on "Passions" and "Days", too,

With him, the soaps have reached an all-time high!

(VERSE)

Well you might think he's mean, and his stories are obscene,

And he might not treat the actors well enough.

Well I tried watching other shows, always saying "Man, this blows!"

And those other guys were writing boring stuff!

If you're down in the dumps, and your writers all are chumps,

And nobody thinks of them very highly,

Your show needs wacky capers, give those guys their walking papers!

Can the bums and hire James E. Reilly!

(REFRAIN)

Yeah, that's JER, my hero JER!

A soap visionary with a plan!

He wrote "Days of our Lives", now I'm glad that I'm alive,

And "Sunset Beach" just proves that he's the man!

Yeah that's JER, that magic JER!

His whole darn life's a mystery.

The ratings he will climb, 'cause he's ahead of his time,

And "Passions", it will live eternally!

(Repeat refrain ad nauseum.) 

It's official.  John Reilly is leaving "Passions".  This effectively means the end for Alistair Crane, leaving the show without a central character and focal point.  Without Alistair, who drives the action?  I can't see anyone else stepping into the villain role.

Couldn't they have gotten rid of someone else from their vast list of regulars?  Liz is a character whose work has been done (and she's almost always at the top of pretty much every fan's "To Kill" list, along with T.C., Spike, Chris, Rachel, Chad, and, of course, Ethan and Gwen ).  Her death would have been memorable without having to screw with the show's superobjective (Alistair vs. Everyone).  I would have saved Alistair's death for the series finale.

Letting John Reilly go was a major mistake on the part of the producers; a mistake that will leave this show directionless.  His sharp timing and dedication to character will be missed.  Enjoy his last few appearances while you can.

"PASSIONS: VENDETTA" BY THE NUMBERS (as of 6/23/06)

DEATHS: 2 (Lena is used as a human lightning rod and Maya takes a tumble)

RETURNS: 5 (Alistair, Beth, Marty, Edna, Norma)

RECASTS: 2 (Fox and Miguel, 3 if you count Fake Ethan)

WEDDINGS: 1 (Spike and Jessica)

MERMAIDS: 1 (Siren)

MEDICAL EMERGENCIES: 3 (Kay has a seizure, Fancy hits her head, Fancy gets poisoned)

CASES OF TEMPORARY INSANITY BROUGHT ON BY SAID MEDICAL EMERGENCIES: 1 (Kay wants to kiss Miguel)

CASES OF MISTAKEN IDENTITY: 3 (That's not Al in the coma, Luis thinks Fancy is Sheridan, Al isn't Norma's daddy) 

APPEARANCES OF "CLUE" MURDER WEAPONS: 1 (It was Siren, with the wrench, in Tabby's living room!)

REMINDERS OF SIMONE'S SEXUALITY: 1 (Paloma asks her if there's a gay pride parade in town.)

FAT SUITS: 1 (Bethie's adventure in good housekeeping)

WOMEN WITH MUSTACHES: 1 (The "Chef Boyardee" look suits Norma well.)

REBECCA'S PAST SEX PARTNERS REVEALED: 1 (J.T. joins the illustrious ranks of Alistair, Julian, Jonathan, the Donkey, Stefano DiMera, Doc, Gopher, Isaac, Ellen DeGeneres, Alan Shore--whoops!, etc., etc.)

KNOCKOUT BLOWS TO THE HEAD: 5 (Luis and Chad get caved in, Fancy hits the wall, Noah fails to see Spikearound the corner, and J.T. nails Ethan "Home Alone"-style with a brick.)

NUMBER OF TIMES THERESA SAYS THE WORDS "PATERNITY", "TABLOIDS", OR "FATE": Don't start with me here.