Oh, joy.

Really I don't have a huge problem with the site, I actually think it looks much better now, but when it starts causing my friends physical and mental distress... well, then it goes against human rights not to speak up.

And besides, there's always room for improvement.

1) I've got younger eyes, so I don't really care, but one of the most common complaints is that the blinding white background gives a few people headaches. What I would suggest for this is simply (*gasp*) change the background color to something more neutral and universal like black or gray. It probably takes a bit of work with the table layout to find a good color, but if you set up a vote for which color people think would look best/hurt their eyes the least, I bet you could find some good suggestions.

On to things that really bug me..

2) The videos section. Kudos for even including a video section. However, it does take forever to play the videos, so if you could simply add a link to the bottom of the videos, it would make me very happy. Then I don't have to go look them up to watch them at a decent pace.

3) I know website design is harder than it looks, so this probably sounds a little naive, but could you possibly make it so that our avatars look the same as they did originally? People get a little intimidated looking at a blown up picture of an eye.

4) Please make the default font a little bigger. I know it's the same size as before, but really, that wasn't big enough either. I can see it just fine, but there are others who can't. And make it possible to space comments without using HTML, please.

5) Look at other blogs and try to be open to suggestions. I know, there's probably a bit of pressure to create a new design, and design takes a lot of work, especially with this many pages, and you all probably want to throw in the towel and tell us to design the dang site ourselves. But just remember, if we didn't care about the site so much, we wouldn't even bother telling you to improve it.

Just so there's a little balance, here's some things you're doing right.

-Adding new things like a video section for each show. That probably took quite a bit of work.

-I like the little blue box in the left hand corner. It goes well with my eyes.

-I'd love the blog summaries if they actually had spaces, or if we could write our own summaries.

-I like the new shade of blue, the old one tended to give me mood swings.

-I also like how the forum system is organized, but maybe try another color besides gray for the unread threads. I get a little lost otherwise, because I've got zippo hand/eye coordination.

Thanks for all you do!

Okay, people, we've got a reason to celebrate! Why?

Well, we're getting a new TV.com design sometime, I guess, but you're missing the point.

It's because the new episode airs tommorrow! And if that's not a reason to celebrate, than what is?

So, grab a bag of chips...

Because we all need a little squeeze to get us through the day.

Not too hard, though! Don't want the lobsters grabbing ahold of your insides.

Um.. okay, maybe we'll go with something a little safer. These should do the trick!

Free lemonade if you bring a +1! Or maybe not, looks like we're out, but you can have a T-shirt!

Okay, bring your own water too.

Now that we've got food and drink-related items, we can get this show on the road!

First, a couple of House videos...

1. "The Vicodin Song" House/Wilson and it's too good to pass up!

2. Bleeding Love A fairly good Huddy video, just to be fair. (There's too much subtext between House/Wilson for it to be even otherwise, lol... ) They'll even it out, though...

3. Swallowed in the Sea by Coldplay. Someone really needs to make a H/W/Amber video with this. My opinion, at least.

4. You by Switchfoot. No idea why I like this song, but I do.

There's the kick-off.

Now we need some games or something. Ah! I've got it.

Pretty much the easiest game in the world. Burn the rope! Burn it! You'll find out why it's worth it at the end. Hint: Let the credits play, that's the best part! There's tutorials on YouTube, but somehow I doubt you need them, lol.

And for extra deviousness, the first one to comment on this has to blog about their credentials in medical janitorialism. And they get to leave another blog topic for the next commentor! Yippee!

Okay, now that you've got all those calories from virtual food, you need some mental exercise!

Time for the showdown.

Okay, so here's the question. Which one is the superior evil genius, House or Holmes? And which sidekick is the best?

Let's start off with the major head honchos.

1. House.

Advantages:

2. Holmes.

Advantages:

Disadvantages:

He left Watson thinking he was dead for three years! Somehow, I think I'd be a little ticked off if a friend did that to me.

His violin playing can be obnoxious when he's feeling down.

He used cocaine for a while.

He's an extremely messy tenant.

Unfortunately, looking at all that happened during season 3, I have to say that Holmes wins this one, because he's never really abused Watson the way House has with Wilson, and even leaving Watson thinking he was dead had a good reason behind it. Rebuttal, anyone?

The Sidekicks:

1. Watson.

Advantages:

He's extremely loyal, even risking his own life to help Holmes rob a house, perform an experiment which he well knows has killed some people, and even saving Holmes' life after that.

He's at least willing to listen to Holmes, and while this seems obvious, we have to remember that some of the other police detectives weren't so eager.

He takes notes on all the cases he helps Holmes with. That takes dedication.

Watson has discretion. If he went blabbing with his friends about everything Holmes has hidden from the police, there'd be a lot of people in jail who don't deserve to be.

He's patient. (Yes, I know, we get all these passages about Watson scolding Holmes, but it's got to be hard living with a man who constantly experiments with dangerous chemicals, and who regularly invites dodgy criminals in with them, not to mention how messy and irregular he is.)

He's not a coward, and regularly accompanies Holmes on dangerous missions.

Disadvantages:

He and Holmes aren't quite equals. He's in the medical profession, and while that may occasionally help him in understanding what Holmes does, they really are on different fields of thought as well as profession.

It seems sometimes that he doesn't even try to surmise what he can tell from the little things that Holmes points out. Whether this is conscious or unconscious on Conan Doyle's part, we may never know. I think we all tend to idolize our heroes at times, but with Watson it can seem a little exaggerated.

The hero worship thing goes along with that too. Watson doesn't try to change Holmes, with the exception of the cocaine thing. And- surprise! Holmes actually listens. When he comes back from being dead, he is no longer addicted to cocaine.

Another interesting thing that happens after he comes back, he doesn't seem to be married anymore, either, since they move in together again. So Watson, like Wilson, is apparently a ladies' man too. I've heard a claim that they've both had three wives, an interesting coincidence if it's true, I haven't actually read that far yet.

2. Wilson.

Advantages:

He's almost as loyal as Watson, which is a good thing, because Watson sort of clings to Holmes in a half-comical, half-puppy dog fashion.

I guess they've got to be a bit more subtle about it on television, because at least in the books, we can tell why Watson is so fond of Holmes. (He actually faints when he comes back… couldn't help it, I sort of burst out laughing. Sorry. )

But I guess Watson is supposed to be some sort of lovable stuffed bunny or something.. I dunno.

Wilson, thankfully, is more of an equal with House. (You put the Watson kind of scenes on television, and you get some occasional eye-rolling. But, hey, that's what subtext is for. )

Not that Conan Doyle didn't do subtext too, but now we're getting off-track…

Wilson works in the same field, so he can be more of a verbal sparring partner with House. Plus, he's doctor "I-Had-No-Friends-When-I-Was-Growing-Up-So-All-I-Did-Was-Watch-TV-By-Myself-Which-Is-Why-I-Can-Now-Make-Constant- Pop-Culture-References-Which-No-One-Understands-But-Me."

And, of course, the dialogue is a bit spunkier. You'd never hear Watson telling Holmes that they're a couple. That's just not very English, now, is it?

Wilson can stop House when he gets out of hand. That's a very, very, very good thing. If Holmes was as renegade as House, the criminal world would never hear the end of it, because Watson is unfortunately an insufferable doormat. (We love him anyway. )

Disadvantages:

Wilson, too, is a doormat in some respects. Especially when it comes to his own personal rights. Somehow, he's not worth any respect or even a break every so often.

Naturally, we can't complain, because that's partially what keeps him with House. Until now, at least.

While Watson is an extremely loyal character, he can be a little too much so at times, so actually I think Wilson wins this one.

But you can argue it out, and likely tomorrow I'll be mourning.

But, hey, mourning is better than detoxing, right?

Insanely long-winded explanation coming right up...

**

Hmm. Sounds a little weird just explaining stuff, maybe I'd better interview myself instead. (Insanity. One of the wonderful parts of being me. )

I was walking in the neighborhood yesterday and unexpectedly ran into myself.

I was utterly polite. I even said excuse me, but I was too angry at myself to excuse such scandalous behavior. (Gosh, that sounds weird. I wonder why. )

"Where the ____ have you been?" I asked myself furiously.

I was a little affronted at my own anger. "China, actually."

"For the entire summer!?" I waited for myself to cool down.

"Yep," I replied. "Well, I went to Singapore and Thailand too."

"What in the world were you doing for the entire summer, anyway?"

"Oh, different things. Practicing Chinese, traveling... you know, the usual stuff when you're halfway across the world."

"But why didn't you write?" I asked myself demandingly.

"Internet's a bit hard to come by. Plus, I was too busy seeing things like the Terracotta Warriors and the Great Wall of China." I didn't add that it was extremely exhausting to talk to myself so extensively.

"Well, you're just a regular old show-off, aren't you?" I huffed.

"Definitely," I teased.

By that point, I was cooled down enough to talk to myself civilly.

"So were you there during the Olympics?"

"Some of it. The rest of the time I was on a cruise on the Yangtze River."

"That's just too unfair."

"If you say so. Half the time I was just begging for the lady advertising in Chinese to let us breathe for five minutes. When we were on the main boat, it was fine though."

"Still, most people don't ever get to do that anyway."

"We had a few horror stories, too, even though we were in first c.lass One German guy got bit on his toe by a mouse."

"No way, dude!"

"Way, dude. Middle of the night, too. He had to wake up and disenfect it."

"What'd the cabin crew say?"

"The lady in charge seemed to think the mice were necessary. She said something about being able to tell if there were earthquakes and things with the mice... it was total baloney."

"You went to the Great Wall, too, didn't you?"

"Yeah. Not the cool part with rides up to the top and slides coming down in Badaling, though. Couldn't go there because it was closed off 'because of the Olympics.' But I still climbed up to the highest point I could see from the bottom."

"That must've been a workout."

"Yep. Crazy humid out there."

"And the Terracotta Warriors? What were they like?"

"Well, there's a lot of remolding going on. A bunch of the warriors got crushed after the First Emperor died. Torched, too. But they've got a lot done, and they get more done every year. They have a surround sound video now, too, which wasn't there when my Dad went. It's really cool, projected on all sides of the circular room. It's especially nice during the war parts. They aren't colored, though, they've buried all of the ones that had color because they have no way of preserving them yet. And obviously you can't walk alongside them. There's just a path around the big dome."

"Did you get to see any Olympic games?"

"I watched the opening on television. A lot of the fireworks were computer-generated, and there's a part where a girl lip-sings. The fireworks weren't live, either. There was a sort of pre-show before. I guess you can't control live television. Oh, and we went to a couple of soccer games too. USA v. Nigeria and Argentina v. Serbia. Lots of cheering for Serbia, and only two rows in one section were cheering for Argentina. I was rebellious every so often and cheered for Argentina. I mean, there was some serious booing every time Argentina had the ball. They still won though. People were leaving 20 minutes early just because Serbia wasn't winning. It was a bit strange."

"Well, you'd better start writing! You've been putting it off long enough, slacker."

"On it."

**

Hmm. That's got to go on my list as one of the craziest, nonsensical things I've ever written. And now I'm bored, because real life is really pretty dull.

Well, however half-baked of an explanation that was, you now know everything and can now pester me with a million questions. (Or not.)

In case you want to read an actual interview, here's one I found on a forum somewhere. I like this one because it features RSL, and since it's not particularly professional, we get some fresh answers vs. regular revamped lines. From June, but still nice.

And now, it is time to stop procrastinating and get going on that Holmes stuff.

Let's start with the language parallel.

Both Conan Doyle and the House writers love to put little subtle language references in their writing to teach us more about the characters.

For example, we have the House references.

One of the first references we had was in "Humpty Dumpty" when House is "forced" to ask the question, "Donde trabajo su hijo los sabados por la noche?" It's very simple, it just means, "Where does your son work on Saturdays?" It's not even rehearsed terribly well, it's a bit rough, but the point they're trying to illustrate about the character is written in the next couple of lines.

Cuddy: Why didn't you say you spoke Spanish?

House: Well, because, she'd want to talk to me.

House, as we well know by now, doesn't like talking to patient's families, because they're obviously panicked and incoherent, which makes them not fun to deal with. In fact, he tends to avoid patients in general, so these few simple lines point out this characteristic in a way that no English sentences could, at least not so clearly. And that's the beauty of language references. Yes, they can be hard to understand, but they tell us things about the characters that would be really hard to convey otherwise.

The next one that comes to mind wasn't spoken by House, but does add an element of humor as well as subtle character investigation.

House: Super. In three months when you need a refill, take a bus to a free clinic. Don't wait around hoping for mom to get another sniffle. (Turns to the mother). Not the sharpest chopstick in the drawer, is she?

Mandarin Woman: Nali, Nali.

( ) Knowing a little Mandarin myself, I can say that "Nali, Nali" means "You flatter me." (It's a polite reply to a compliment.)

But knowing what it means, now, doesn't make it any funnier. Sorry. Maybe watching the Youtube video might do it, but somehow I doubt it. Jokes just aren't funny after they're explained, at least, not usually. But it had my dad and I almost falling off our chairs.

So what does this tell us about our character? This scene sort of "foreshadows" what's coming next. There's a lot of subtle subtext going on there. First of all, House is sending the message that, "Duh, kid, this isn't going to work." Second of all, he's saying, "OK, fine, you can make your own mistakes, but don't come crying to me later."

Well, what do you know, the kid does come crying later, claiming that House prescribed the wrong pills. Which, obviously, our acerbic doctor isn't going to take, because that means more conflict. It's much easier to give the kid a taste of her own medicine and claim that she's pregnant, then subtly escape out of the room.

So what does this tell us about our character? It tells us that this is a character who will stand up for himself when he is in the right, but who also avoids conflict whenever possible. There's a constant contradiction that runs in that sort of personality, which makes the character interesting.

Finally, we have another example in Season 4. (There are others, but for the sake of time, let's stick with these three.) We are presented with a Jewish episode with a lot of conflict between House and Amber fighting over Wilson. (Funny then and somewhat painful now that Amber's dead. )

Taken (no, borrowed, borrowed is a better term ) from a Livejournal transcript:

[Wilson's Office. Night. At his desk, Wilson buttons his sleeve, when the door opens. House stands at the door-jamb.]

GREG HOUSE: [sucks in air] I've decided you could do worse than a female proxy for me.

[His message given, he closes the door and walks off. Wilson stands transfixed.]


CUT TO:

[PPTH Lobby. Day. The elevator door opens and House, on his way out, limps towards the door. Behind him, Wilson comes bounding down the stairs.]

JAMES WILSON: So you're going to acknowledge that people can change?

GREG HOUSE: No.

JAMES WILSON: You think I've changed or Amber's changed?

GREG HOUSE: Nope.

[House stops at the Nurse Station to look at something.]

JAMES WILSON: [pointing at House] Then you've changed.

GREG HOUSE: If you do change, can it be the part of you that chases me down halls, trying to change me?

[House resumes walking, Wilson accompanying him.]

JAMES WILSON: [flabbergasted] Do you know what this means?

GREG HOUSE: That you made one good dating choice. The fabric of the space/time continuum could unravel.

[House and Wilson walk out the hospital doors into the cold night. They stand outside.]

JAMES WILSON: My world could expand. I could form a long-term connection that isn't with you. And since you put the darkest possible construction on everything, you could end up losing a friend. You've thought of all this.

[House doesn't answer.]

JAMES WILSON: And yet you're going along with it. [shivers a bit] Are you being... self-sacrificing?

GREG HOUSE: I'll sacrifice... a lab rat. I'll sacrifice a fly. I'll sacrifice two hundred on a mudder at Monmouth Park. I don't sacrifice self.

[Wilson nods.]

GREG HOUSE: Shabbat Shalom, Wilson.

[He walks off.]

JAMES WILSON: Shabbat Shalom, House.

[With a wide smile, Wilson turns to walk back inside.]

Hmm. Shabbat Shalom. What in the world does that mean? Well, actually, it means "Good Sabbath." (Thank goodness for Google. ) In Jewish, obviously.

Somewhat odd that an atheistic character would wish a friend a good sabbath, isn't it?

So what does this tell us? That it's Saturday, for one, and that House has a massive amount of trivia crammed in his head.

Also that Wilson is probably an inactive Jew, since he's not technically supposed to work on Saturdays. (But, hey, correct me if I'm wrong. I'm not going to go through every article about Jewish sabbaths on the web.)

Random unrelated fact: the 'internet' is the hardware. The WWW is what you surf.

But there's got to be some sort of explanation for our atheistic character doing this, doesn't there? Maybe it's a sign of respect. Maybe it's saying, "I don't always hamper you on religion, and I won't constantly bug you about Amber either. But that doesn't mean I won't challenge you every so often." Who knows?

On to Holmes references before you sew me for mental distress.

"And I," said Holmes, "shall see what I can learn from Mrs. Bernstone and from the Indian servant, who, Mr. Thaddeus tells me, sleeps in the next garret. Then I shall study the great Jones's methods and listen to his not too delicate sarcasms.

"'Wir sind gewohnt dass die Menschen verhohnen was sie nicht verstehen.'

"Goethe is always pithy."

"Wir sind gewohnt dass die Menschen verhohnen was sie nicht verstehen:"

We are accustomed to those who scoff at what they do not understand.

Context: Holmes and Watson have just endured a rather lengthy (and inaccurate) description of Athelney Jones' thoughts on a crime they are investigating.

Here we see Holmes' frustration with Jones arresting everyone in the house for no logical reason and refusing to take his methods seriously. Holmes seems to quote a lot from Goethe, remarking that he is to the point, and he is also well up on his literature. He also takes a stab at Jones, saying he "shall study his great methods," as if he is the student and Jones is the teacher. This reveals a subtle character weakness: Holmes' impatience with ignorance.

   "…See here, Captain Crocker, we'll do this in due form of law. You are the prisoner. Watson, you are a British jury, and I never met a man who was more eminently fitted to represent one. I am the judge. Now, gentleman of the jury, you have heard the evidence. Do you find the prisoner guilty or not guilty?"
   "Not guilty, my lord," said I.
   "Vox populi, vox Dei. You are acquitted, Captain Crocker.  So long as the law does not find some other victim you are safe from me. Come back to this lady in a year, and may her future and yours justify us in the judgment which we have pronounced this night!"

"Vox populi, vox dei."

The voice of the people is the voice of God.

Context: Holmes has just listened to the story of one 'Captian Crocker.' As on other occasions, he has decided that the man's actions do not justify turning him over to the law. Of course, he finds the most dramatized way of expressing this. And of course, we love it.

"…If the case has had no other effect, it, at least, brings out in the most striking manner the efficiency of our detective police force, and will serve as a lesson to all foreigners that they will do wisely to settle their feuds at home, and not to carry them on to British soil. It is an open secret that the credit of this smart capture belongs entirely to the well-known Scotland Yard officials, Messrs. Lestrade and Gregson. The man was apprehended, it appears, in the rooms of a certain Mr. Sherlock Holmes, who has himself, as an amateur, shown some talent in the detective line and who, with such instructors, may hope in time to attain to some degree of their skill. It is expected that a testimonial of some sort will be presented to the two officers as a fitting recognition of their services."

"Didn't I tell you so when we started?" cried Sherlock Holmes with a laugh. "That's the result of all our Study in Scarlet: to get them a testimonial!"

"Never mind," I answered; "I have all the facts in my journal, and the public shall know them. In the meantime you must make yourself contented by the consciousness of success, like the Roman miser--

"Populus me sibilat, at mihi plaudo

Ipse domi simul ac nummos contemplar in arca."

The public hisses at me, but I applaud myself in my own house, and simultaneously contemplate the money in my chest.

Context: An odd case: here, we find Watson comforting Holmes in his own language, figuratively speaking. Kind of like Wilson limping around with House…

And one final one, because I've just pasted this into a Word document and it's
 currently six pages long.  (*looks sheepish*).

"Strange," said I, "how terms of what in another man I should call laziness alternate with your fits of splendid energy and vigour."
"Yes," he answered, "there are in me the makings of a very fine loafer, and also of a pretty spry sort of a fellow. I often think of those lines of old Goethe:

"Schade, daß die Natur nur einen Mensch aus dir schuf, Denn zum würdigen Mann war und zum Schelmen der Stoff."

Nature, alas, made only one being of you, 

Although there was material for a good man and a rouge.

Context: I'll let you figure that one out.

-Signing off.