We've all had them, or probably will before too soon, annoying roommates. Maybe it's something small, like the way he/she pronounces each and every time certain winds escape the body. Like you had to mention that you farted, good thing or I might of missed that because the whole noise from your ass combined with the god awful smell just wasn't that much of a tip off. Or, on to bigger annoyances. Like the way you eat all my good Hot Pockets. I'm not talking Broccoli and Cheese, hell, that's more of a favor. No, my roommate does the unthinkable, he gets all up in my Four Cheese Pizza. And when combined with the smaller annoyances, like mentioned above, it can get pretty unbearable on occasion. The whole package seems to come together when a certain American pastime takes place, NASCAR. This sport seems to bring the best out of my roommate, and by best I mean the qualities that make me want to run up and smack that Four Cheese Pizza holiness straight out of his face.

But like most people, my roommate does have some good qualities. One being, he sort of resembles Stimpy of Ren and Stimpy fame. His giant face seems to always hold an abnormal amount of the color red, which when accompanied by his trademark wheezing fits, the two are almost indistinguishable. Yes, folks, this is probably his best quality. Which one of Stimpy's many personas best describes my roommate you might ask? The one where Stimpy appears to have OD'd on one too many cat nip encounters. See below pic for visual example.

This has been a good old fashion roommate rant, though I feel somewhat guilty for this rant, it only takes the thought of a certain Hot Pocket variety then it's all justified...