Hello.

I'm not too sure if anyone around here still remember me, But I felt like blogging. And no, its not the fun kind of blog. So feel free not to read. I just needed to put it out there, to prevent my head from exploding and my heart from breaking

Today I kinda got kick to my face. Reality decided I had my fun, and its time to show me the real world.

As you may or may not know, I recently came back from Australia after a short visit of 7 months minus 10 days. While I was there, I kinda didn't have to worry about the real life responsibilities. There was no need to think about anything regarding work, studying, payments..

Whenever I phoned people back home, They seemed to miss me, and asked me when I'll be back. I understand why they didn't phone me, it is way too expansive to do so. At first I used to get emails and SMSz just because. And as time went by, the less people did that. Of course I had an explanation for everything. SMSz aren't that cheap. They are busy with exams and collage and problems at work, so they don't get to email me all that much... Yeah right.

Denial is a magical tool to avoid reality and dealing with feelings. And I am good at not dealing with things.

Anyways, someone told me, OUT OF SIGHT, OUT OF MIND. Oh how that is true.

Back to the kick at my face... Besides the fact that everyone who comes back here from a trip somewhere in the world feels it was a mistake to come back (which I felt too), Today I found out something about who my true friends are, and who doesn't even deserve my time.

Without going into too much details, I finally realized I was living a dream. Whereas the reality is more like a nightmare. Okay, I might be a little exaggerating due to the fact I'm pissed, and feeling like crap right now, But the truth is, I had NO idea about anything.

On the one hand I'm glad I found out now. On the other, I think I'd rather not know. At least not no - when I have nothing good waiting for me. My best friend is Busy trying to fit work, college and studying for her exams. Another close friend is traveling. Another one has moved to another city so I barely get to see her.. People from work (or where I used to work before I went to Aus) are too busy ranting about the sucky place they work at....

Sure, at least I still have my family who I know loves me and care about me, But sometimes you need more than that.

So I know its just a phase, and like everything in life, that shall too pass. But you know what? I don't care. Right now I feel like crying and smacking something to make me feel better. But I won't smack anything, so instead - I blogged.

If you made it all the way here - Kudos. Sorry you had to read all my rambling.

And now I'm out.