These are approximately a week old, maybe a little less.

EDIT: after several attempts to put the pictures into this entry, i'll just direct link them. sheesh.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v215/ncoleman77/Isabel/DSC02619.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v215/ncoleman77/Isabel/DSC02613.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v215/ncoleman77/Isabel/DSC02611.jpg

My wife had our new baby girl two weeks ago Sunday. Sorry to the people in the fantasy league(s). I've had no motivation or time to produce rankings or check my teams consistently. Sorta preoccupied.

Power Rankings: Week Awkward Fumblings

Here we go folks. No crying, no fussing-take your medicine and like it.

1. PinkZebras - Can you hear that? My teeth grinding? Yeah, there's a dog out there with a very well-tanned rear-end. Er, a zebra I mean. Delhomme is usually much more human than that performance; however, Maroney is usually much more productive. I guess that cancels it out, and Zebras have the high point total after week one. As we've seen in the past with the Power Rankings, top points don't guarantee the top spot, so enjoy it for now Zebras-the Franklins are hot on your heels.

2. The Franklins - The RB situation has cleared itself up. Portis ran well, although still appears to be injured, and Peterson seems to be the real deal. Big matchup with the Housecats in week 2 will show a lot for each team. Franklins management has also officially placed JP Losman on the trading block. Management informs me that they are looking for a WR.

3. Killer Dolphins - Seriously. Plaxico Burress getting almost 30 points? If Burress puts up half that amount Dolphins would've been closer to the upset zone against the Housecats. I don't have a ton of confidence in this team, but I know that Manager Zayas read this column, so I don't want to give him any locker room propaganda. Lord knows he has his own to use.

4. Prime Timerz - This team seems to awfully hard working, but not necessarily and overachieving one. The PTerz earned a victory in week 1 but I'm in wait and see mode on whether Timerz can move beyond the middle pack.

5. Housecats - Ok. Let's assume that Housecats players performed up to their predicted potential. Then let's say Burress doesn't freak out and score a billion points. Housecats could be sitting with a solid win over the always tough out Killer Dolphins.

6. Bad Newz Kennelz - Palmer and Housh did exactly what they were supposed to. PIT D got the benefit of smoking Cleveland. Other than that, the Kennelz were lucky to beat out San Dimas High. This middle pack is going to be interesting if teams keep trading sloppy, hawt blows like this. BNK management issued this press release, "To those who say BNK overachieved we say this to you: you may be right."

7. Big Willeys - Big Willeys put up a good amount of points but were just unlucky to be playing a team that scored over 100. Because my memory is so short I'm going to say that I predicted playoffs for this team. I still see that in their future, but it will take scores of 80+ to consistently compete. Anything under that sets a team up for a .500 year.

8. San Dimas High - Lost a nailbiter this week to Bad Newz Kennelz. If Brees would've had his normal game S.D.H. would have gotten the W.I.N. I expect this team to move up just a bit. Potential is here, but they just need the luck.

9. Maltese Falcons - Really had an underperforming weekend aside from Brady. It will be interesting to see how the Falcons rally against the Big Willeys, who also have something to prove. If the RBs can match the production of Brady, Maltese should be competitive.

10. Team Deception - Say what? They won last week. But they also beat the Cat Eaters (see below), and scored the least amount of points outside of Maltese. Steven Jackson must perform this week, otherwise Deception is just full of lies.

11. Cheeseheads - Cheeseheads finally updated their roster with active players, so next week they should be at least functional-look out Cheeseheads opponents. The Franklins hath awoken a monster!

12. Cat Eaters - Speaking of monsters, Minnie The Monster failed miserably. She's ok with this. Currently she has bigger concerns like avoiding the stroller and playing with her stuffed hedgehog.

As the weeks start to play out we'll get a better sense for how teams are developing, or not developing. Also next week, more sexual innuendo and potentially modable jokes!

EDIT: i had some awesome pictures to put into this but hey! GS crapped out somehow and i don't want to put them all back in. maybe later