- I saw this movie at Sundance 2007 -

Oh man, where do I start…..

TEETH is a rare dark comedy that will have you squirming in your seat and laughing your ass off all at the same time. If you like to be...
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- I saw this movie at Sundance 2007 -

Oh man, where do I start…..

TEETH is a rare dark comedy that will have you squirming in your seat and laughing your ass off all at the same time. If you like to be shocked and giggling all at once, then TEETH is definitely for you.

For those who don’t know the story, TEETH is about a female high school student with a nasty secret….A very nasty secret. She suffers from a mutation called Vagina Dentata’ – basically a set of choppers in her celestial orifice. Being a dark gory comedy, you can imagine the direction the movie goes.

Here’s a mostly spoiler review of the first part of the movie:

When we first meet our main character Dawn, she’s a 2 year old in a kiddie pool playing ‘show me yours and I’ll show you mine’ with her slightly older step brother Brad. Brad makes the mistake of going in for a closer look and C-R-A-C-K….he almost gets his finger tip ‘bitten off’. This sets a premise that will last throughout the movie.

Flash forward a decade and a half and we see Dawn in high school pushing an abstinence from sex campaign. This scene is funny because of the way that Dawn’s life is guided due to her mutation. What makes it even funnier is that she initially believes that all girls are born like her.

At the rally she meets another virgin Tobey. Tobey has that same innocence about him that Dawn shares. As the two hit it off they start spending more time together. Eventually they end up alone one day out at a swimming hole known as a big make out place. As one thing leads to another they’re kissing and Tobey wants it bad……REAL BAD. He makes the mistake of pushing himself on Dawn and pays the ultimate price.

Now this is where this movie separates itself from other horror/comedy flicks. They show it all! When Tobey loses both his virginity AND his pickle at the same time it’s priceless. The look on both of their faces is absolutely hilarious! As Tobey stands up you get a full frontal shot of what’s left….a dude screaming with a stump where his penga used to be! But it doesn’t stop there. You get a gratuitous shot of the poor guy’s penis lying on the rocks. When Tobey sees what’s left of his manhood lying on the ground, he let’s out a scream that would turn on Richard Simmons and does his best Road Runner impression out of there.

Dawn is left freaking out wondering what to do. This pushes Dawn to learn more about her condition and sets up the rest of the movie. We follow Dawn as she learns what a-holes guys can be and what she can do about it. And damn does it get nasty!

One of the things I really liked about the film is the balance between the comedy and the more dramatic scenes. Just when the movie is going into what would be a heavy traumatic scenario it turns it into a giant laugh fest. As Dawn learns to control her ‘ability’ you start to anticipate what’s going to happen. You just can’t wait to see characters you despise losing their meat sticks by chomping squad. It seems so much more satisfying that the usual death scenes we get in regular Hollywood films.

One thing I loved was the sound effect when Dawn’s extra set of dentures clamps down. The movie goes dead quiet so you can hear a distinct ‘crunch’ sound every time some poor chap goes over the line with her. The look of pain and shock on these guys’ faces are classic. The gore can be painful to watch (if you’re a guy) but it’s so funny you can’t look away. I often found myself laughing and squirming at the same time.

As absurd as this movie sounds it’s quite entertaining. I saw it with a midnight crowd and everyone was laughing at all the right places. It’s got good pacing and characters you love to hate. The gore is so over the top I doubt there’s any way this movie won’t get anything less than NC-17 rating in its current cut. Harvey Weinstein has said that he’s going to release the movie as is without any editing. I give him big kudos for having the cahones to say screw the rating system and enjoy the movie as is. It’s one of those movies that would suffer if it was watered down.

I can say that this was my favorite movie out of the 17 indie flicks I saw at Sundance this year. It’s a great original story that will definitely become a cult classic.