Iâve just witnessed a murder. No, not a murder, a slaughterhouse. The blood was everywhere, dripping, flowing and I kept screaming, âplease, oh please, donât kill Solaris, itâs too precious, too good to be killedâ⦠they didnât listen :( The book is dead...
So, what was that bad about the movie? Ummmmâ¦. everything?! âK, no, George was fine, as he always is. Heâs not a good actor, heâs a great actor but neither him or his buttocks could save Solaris. It died right before my eyes.
God, I have no idea where to begin with, I donât really have a week to describe all that was wrong. Fine, the main issues would be it:
First of all, the movie is a one gigantic chaos. It seems cut, jumps from one time frame to the other, thereâs no fluentness between scenes. I understand itâs deliberate but itâs more annoying than anything else. Plus, it really doesnât help that they cut out half of the book and then they hint at us that those things happened but we just didnât witness them. It creates a mess and, what's worse, a BORING mess. If I didnât read the book I wouldnât have the slightest clue what is going on! And no, itâs not the typical âif we showed it, we wouldnât have time to show the restâ case, because they have time for those pointless flashbacks and George's naked arse... ... ...ok, can't blame them for THAT.
Yes, they even cut out everything about Solaris! The book was about it, just look at the title for Godâs sake. What the hell, tight budget? If you paid George Clooney to show his arse around, Iâm sure you could find a penny or two for some special effects. I wanted to see symetriads and mimics! You just canât take Hamlet, decide that he can go and make the play without him.
Perhaps that makes me so angry. I LOVED SOLARIS - the book - The Ocean, loved the theories, the musings, the mystery, the thrill, the unknown... but all I got was a dull romance/pseudopsychological thingy. I had 4 favorite scenes and hoped that at least one will make it to the movie. It did not.
Other things they changed? Well, thatâs the thing. Parts of the movie were fascistically accurate with the book, while lots of those so called Significant Details were changed. Names. They changed names. Why?! They changed sexes. WHY?! They TOTALLY changed the ending. The only good thing, really, because I was not pleased with the ending in the book, it seemed like there was none but the fact that it turned that in here weâve got A Hollywoodish Happy Ending made my stomach turn. The thing about the book was that from the beginning we were aware that Happy Ending is not possible and here? Oh, blah!
Hahaha, know what really is amusing? Apparently, in the movie, the answer to everything is the fact that Solaris is alive. Well, in the book we find out about that on the 3rd page, we are just not sure what kind of âlifeâ is that. Is Solaris super-intelligent or is this some primordial soup? Is it the end of the evolutionary journey or just the beginning? Is it evil? Good? Can we even use those terms to describe it? What does it want? Does it want anything at all? What are we to it? Is it even aware of our presence? We donât get he answers, just theories and in the movie? âOMG! Whatâs going on?!â âItâs Solaris, itâs aliveâ âOh, that explains everythingâ
I could survive everything, the changes, the ending, the chaos but I will never forgive them, that they turned such intelligent, interesting, fascinating and thrilling story into a bad romance.
One more thing,
Dear People That Turned The Book Into The Movie.
Next time, if you get confused what the book is about, look at the title, it might give you a clue. The book was called Solaris for a reason, the main reason being Solaris, which the book was about. The title of the book was not, I repeat, it was not How I Met My Wife. If it still doesnât help, TRY ASKING THE AUTHOR WHAT HE MEANT BY IT, OK?!