I’ve just witnessed a murder. No, not a murder, a slaughterhouse. The blood was everywhere, dripping, flowing and I kept screaming, ‘please, oh please, don’t kill Solaris, it’s too precious, too good to be...
[+] Read Full Review

I’ve just witnessed a murder. No, not a murder, a slaughterhouse. The blood was everywhere, dripping, flowing and I kept screaming, ‘please, oh please, don’t kill Solaris, it’s too precious, too good to be killed’… they didn’t listen :( The book is dead...

So, what was that bad about the movie? Ummmm…. everything?! ‘K, no, George was fine, as he always is. He’s not a good actor, he’s a great actor but neither him or his buttocks could save Solaris. It died right before my eyes.

God, I have no idea where to begin with, I don’t really have a week to describe all that was wrong. Fine, the main issues would be it:

First of all, the movie is a one gigantic chaos. It seems cut, jumps from one time frame to the other, there’s no fluentness between scenes. I understand it’s deliberate but it’s more annoying than anything else. Plus, it really doesn’t help that they cut out half of the book and then they hint at us that those things happened but we just didn’t witness them. It creates a mess and, what's worse, a BORING mess. If I didn’t read the book I wouldn’t have the slightest clue what is going on! And no, it’s not the typical ‘if we showed it, we wouldn’t have time to show the rest’ case, because they have time for those pointless flashbacks and George's naked arse... ... ...ok, can't blame them for THAT.

Yes, they even cut out everything about Solaris! The book was about it, just look at the title for God’s sake. What the hell, tight budget? If you paid George Clooney to show his arse around, I’m sure you could find a penny or two for some special effects. I wanted to see symetriads and mimics! You just can’t take Hamlet, decide that he can go and make the play without him.

Perhaps that makes me so angry. I LOVED SOLARIS - the book - The Ocean, loved the theories, the musings, the mystery, the thrill, the unknown... but all I got was a dull romance/pseudopsychological thingy. I had 4 favorite scenes and hoped that at least one will make it to the movie. It did not.

Other things they changed? Well, that’s the thing. Parts of the movie were fascistically accurate with the book, while lots of those so called Significant Details were changed. Names. They changed names. Why?! They changed sexes. WHY?! They TOTALLY changed the ending. The only good thing, really, because I was not pleased with the ending in the book, it seemed like there was none but the fact that it turned that in here we’ve got A Hollywoodish Happy Ending made my stomach turn. The thing about the book was that from the beginning we were aware that Happy Ending is not possible and here? Oh, blah!

Hahaha, know what really is amusing? Apparently, in the movie, the answer to everything is the fact that Solaris is alive. Well, in the book we find out about that on the 3rd page, we are just not sure what kind of ‘life’ is that. Is Solaris super-intelligent or is this some primordial soup? Is it the end of the evolutionary journey or just the beginning? Is it evil? Good? Can we even use those terms to describe it? What does it want? Does it want anything at all? What are we to it? Is it even aware of our presence? We don’t get he answers, just theories and in the movie? ‘OMG! What’s going on?!’ ‘It’s Solaris, it’s alive’ ‘Oh, that explains everything’

I could survive everything, the changes, the ending, the chaos but I will never forgive them, that they turned such intelligent, interesting, fascinating and thrilling story into a bad romance.

One more thing,

Dear People That Turned The Book Into The Movie.
Next time, if you get confused what the book is about, look at the title, it might give you a clue. The book was called Solaris for a reason, the main reason being Solaris, which the book was about. The title of the book was not, I repeat, it was not How I Met My Wife. If it still doesn’t help, TRY ASKING THE AUTHOR WHAT HE MEANT BY IT, OK?!