A likably energetic star vehicle for English sports god Vinnie Jones.

Guy Ritchie, who started out as such an innovator in "Lock, Stock, etc.," seems to have headed directly for reliable generic conventions as a producer. But they are reliable, and have become conventions for a reason: They work. Mean Machine is what it is, and very nicely, too.

I'm not sure Mean Machine is any worse than "The Longest Yard," but it lacks the nihilistic '70s background that lent the latter's combination of humor and brutality an air of (arguably bogus) social commentary.

Mildly exciting sports-in-prison movie.

Mean Machine may not have the resonance to linger in the memory affectionately as "The Longest Yard" does, but it plays well, with a fast pace and plenty of punch.

Sports movies are never easy to pull off, but Skolnick does a fine job of balancing the drama with the on-field action.

More machine than mean, although it's anything but a smoothly running operation.

Accomplishes a near miracle -- this British import makes you yearn for Burt Reynolds, who appeared in a vastly more entertaining version of the same story.

In Mean Machine, soccer is pretty much an excuse to watch a bunch of grown men smashing their heads together. Which, come to think of it, may be enough.

Disappointingly straightforward remake.

Against heavy odds, Mean Machine adds darker flavors to the plot without curdling it. Beneath the comic craziness is real craziness, and desperation. These goal-kicking, bone-crunching cons are both actors in and prisoners of their own horror show.

It does, however, fairly bubble with speed-freak energy and a dry, laddish wit that keeps the jokes coming.

There's just no juice to this thing, merely a bunch of fitfully funny gags and a climactic football match that, under Skolnick's direction, fails to show us why the Europeans find this so exciting.

Takes a long time getting started and doesn't hit its stride until Danny starts coaching a team of fellow cons -- think "Bad News Bears," just nastier.